


Moments

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Child Abuse, Drabbles, M/M, not gonna tag everything just know that there's a lot here, various other triggers ugh sorry i'm lazy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-11-28 18:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 3,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/677359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short drabbles and ask box ficlets</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbtZyuOMdHI

One day, Richard wasn’t even sure why, he ran. Jim had been talking to him, Jim was always talking to him but today was a bad day for talking. It was a bad day for listening, too. It was a bad day.

But he ran and he ran until he couldn’t breathe and he could feel the fingers clawing at his back tearing through his shirt. He ran until he didn’t recognize the endless pavement and he ran until he couldn’t stand anymore. He was trying to outrun him. It wasn’t working.

He made it to a gas station, collapsing in the empty bathroom, leaning against the dirty door.

Jim was sitting next to him, cupping his tear-stained face in hand.

“You know you can’t from me,” Jim said. Richard swallowed and nodded. He was stupid, he should have known, he should have known…

“Please,” Richard said, though he wasn’t sure why. “I’m sorry. Don’t hurt me, please.”

“You know you can’t run from me,” Jim continued, his cold hand slipping under Richard’s shirt and making him gasp.

“I know,” Richard replied.

“Then why did you?” Jim asked and Richard just cried. “You horrible boy. Worthless. It’s a wonder I stick around, I wish I could leave you.”

Richard just cried.


	2. Chapter 2

It took Sebastian two years to figure out what was wrong. Even then he wasn't sure what it might be. He knew that Jim fell sometimes, he would talk to mirrors and hide for days sometimes."There are two of you,"Sebastian whispered one fast, having just realized and Jim just smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

Jim had a weakness. It was simple when Sebastian thought about it, cliche and cheesy and simple but there wasn't any other explanation for why Jim froze when Sebastian hold him when he was screaming. There wasn't any other explanation for why Jim never talked about when they took it slow. No one had showed him affection before, and when they did, Jim didn't know how to act. It was simple and cheesy and comical but love really was the key to the puzzle that was Jim Moriarty.


	4. Chapter 4

Richard wished he could forget sometimes. He wished he could move on and breathe without hating himself. He should have listened when Jim begged him to make him stay home, Richard had thought it was just pre-job jitters. He wished he could forget the strain and despair in Jim's voice, the quiet way he'd said goodbye. He wished he would have held Jim longer and kissed him harder. But sometimes he knew it was for the best. 


	5. Chapter 5

Richard liked lollipops. He wasn't sure why, but he always had. When they were children Richard would buy lollipops and Jim would buy hard candies. He likes how they feel in his mouth, the over sweet taste and how his mouth started to hurt if he sucked on them for too long. Jim says that his obsession with the candy was why he was so good at sucking cock but Richard knew that want true. Lollipops and cocks were different. Jim was just teasing.


	6. Chapter 6

Their parents had never put them to bed before. It was nice, how daddy was reading to them now, how it wasn't Jim's worried voice spinning the story together, painting the words and how they could cuddle, close together, too close for twins, naked under the bed sheets. It was nice how they'd been given dinner tonight, how Jim didn't have to scrape something together. "Now," their da said and he put down the book and reached for his belt. "Which one of you boys is going to /thank/ me?"


	7. Chapter 7

Sebastian wasn't sure what had happened. Everything had been fine, they'd been fucking and JIm was enjoying it until Sebastian had moaned something, he wasn't even sure what and Jim had froze completely, his eyes going wide with shock. Sebastian stopped, too panicked to keep his hard on and just held Jim, waiting for him to come back. When he did it was with a gasp, pushing Sebastian away and hiding on the corner of the bed. "Please don't call me baby," he stuttered, voice shaky. "Just... don't."


	8. Chapter 8

Sebastian hated being old. He wasn't that bad off, he knew. He was still in shape, he could still kill people but Jim knew how old he was and would flaunt it, leaving Rogaine in plain sight in the bathroom and asking him about 'tales of yore, you must know some of them, 'Bastian.' He was nearing forty when he joined Jim's empire, which was nearing ten years ago. He wasn't sure how old Jim was but he was young. Chipper. /Young/ and Sebastian just wished he could say the same.


	9. Chapter 9

They were never sure what was going to set Sebastian off, whether a knife would make him scream or get horny. In reality he was just as much of a puzzle as the twins were and sometimes even Jim couldn't figure him out, haunted by the war but craving it still. Hating himself for giving in but never feeling more content than when the twins were teaming up on him, making him hurt and scream in pain and pleasure. It was why Jim was so obsessed with him, just another code to crack.


	10. Chapter 10

The virgin was back. It was on the news, three fucking miserable years later and all of it was for nothing. Sebastian was beyond furious, beyond the point of murder. But that wouldn't stop him. He had his gun ready, maybe he'd kill himself first. He decided to take a walk first, nearly crushing the flowers underneath his feet. Black roses. And a note. 'I'm sorry, Tiger xo' Sebastian swallowed thickly and turned the card over. 'Sic 'em, boy.' And he knew what he was supposed to do.


	11. Chapter 11

Richard didn't get out much. Jim didn't /let/ him out much. The world was a scary place, his brother would say. 'Broken bones and lacerations and car crashes. I just want you to be safe.' It was nearly a week of begging before Jim finally agreed to take him out, to the park. Richard brought a loaf of bread. They held hands and got odd looks and they fed the ducks and Richard didn't get hurt. It was pleasant for once, even when Jim brought him home and fucked him until he was screaming.


	12. Chapter 12

Jim let out a shriek of frustration, startling Richard from his daze. He closed his book, pencil and not book still inside and threw it against the wall.

“English is the most mentally handicapped language in the history of spoken word,” he shouted into his pillow. “Oxford commas frustrate me to no end.”

Richard looked down at his maths homework, he’d been falling behind but numbers were foreign to him. Even if Jim sat him down and told him slowly how to do polynomials he still didn’t understand.

Richard stood from the desk, creeping over to Jim and patting his back slightly.

“I’ll do your English if you do my maths,” Richard muttered in his brother’s ear and Jim sat up and looked at him before nodding.

“You can copy my handwriting,” he replied and laughed a bit hysterically. “God I hate English.”

Richard smiled and picked Jim’s text book up off the floor, cracking it open to the page he was stuck on and started writing things out, slowly and deliberately, curling his handwriting instead of looping it. He had to be careful if this was going to work. He knew it was a rick but it was well worth it if he didn’t have to do bloody maths.  


	13. Chapter 13

Richard was waiting outside for him when he got home. He shouldn’t be outside, curled up on the doorstep unless… And of course that would have happened to him, to Richard, while he was gone.

Jim sat next to him and held him while he cried.

“Let me see,” he demanded because there would be bruises. There were always bruises.

Richard let his head roll back and let Jim see the dark bruises on the front of his neck.

“We’re getting wet,” Jim said, looking up at the rain

Richard said, “I know.”

And they sat together, Jim’s arms around his brother and they both wished it would be okay and they both knew it wouldn’t be.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wepAxJ6BN30

“Did you know a quarter of adult, male black swans are homosexual?” Jim asks, tracing fingers over Sebastian’s sticky chest, still trying to gather his thoughts after his orgasm.

“What the fuck are you on about?” Sebastian moaned. Jim just laughed at him and kissed him chastely.

“Black swans. Then the two daddy swans get a surrogate and raise the baby and black swans aren’t taboo or illegal. Humans are strange. They should all die.”

“Oh my god shut up.”

“Be your black swan,” Jim sang quietly, already drifting off, his eyes slipping closed. “I’m for spare parts, broken up.”


	15. Chapter 15

Richard liked the swings. He’d try to eb the first on there at lunchtime and Jim would sit next to him and watch. Most of the time he was pushed out of the way he could get there but when he did manage to get a swing no one bothered them. No one wanted to even be seen with the _twins_. The dark haired freaks, it was like they were from a horror movie, the children thought. One of them is an alien, the plaer one, the darker one, the scary one, taking the original one’s shape and possessing him and eating his life.

Richard liked the swings. He thought it was like being rocked by Jim but Jim wasn’t big enough to properly hold him. It was up and down. Flying but he knew he was safe.

He never jumped like Jim did. He never went that high either, just went back and forth slowly, dragging his feet on the ground.

And sometimes he would tear up when the bell rang and he was on the swings.

“Jimmy, I don’t want to,” he’d say ad Jim would look up because he was always doing something, drumming his hands, squishing ants, making marks on the ground with sticks.

“It’s okay, bunny,” Jim would say and look back at the door. “It’s okay, we don’t have to.”


	16. Chapter 16

Richard loved watching Sebastian clean his guns. Even when Sebastian was just touching them Richard loved it. He loved the nurturing face he got when he was cleaning them and how focussed he was. He loved the way Sebastian’s trousers would tent slightly and he wouldn’t notice until after he was done, he was so lost in his work. Sometimes Richard imagined Sebastian looking at him like he looked at his guns.  
“Can I touch them?” he worked up the courage to say one evening. He’d been watching Sebastien since he got home and he’d never said anything before. He was terrified that Sebastian was going to hate him.  
“What?” Sebastian replied, looking up from his gun.  
“Y-your g-guns,” Richard stuttered, staring at his feet. “Can I t-touch them?”  
Sebastian looked down at his gun, then to Richard and smiled, patting the bed next to him, holding out the gun.  
Richard’s eyes went wide and he reached an apprehensive hand out to take the gun, holding in his hands and feeling the weight before handing it back to Sebastian quickly.  
“That’s it?” Sebastian asked. Richard nodded.  
“I like watching better,” he said quietly and forced a smile for Sebastian who grinned in return, putting his attention back into his gun, almost forgetting Richard was there.


	17. Chapter 17

  
“I’m sorry,” he kept saying. “I’m sorry. I was jealous, I’m sorry.”

Severin had stopped trying to reassure Richard that it wasn’t his fault, that he had fucked up too but it was useless.

“It’s okay,” Severin soothed, running his hands through Richard’s hair like Sebastian used to do for him when he cried. “I still love you. You’re forgiven.”

“Forgiven?” Richard asked to make sure, the concept seeming foreign to him.

“Forgiven,” Severin confirmed, smiling softly as Richard finally closed his eyes, allowing himself peace.


	18. Chapter 18

  
It had been Richard’s idea, actually, to go out drinking. Neither Jim or Sebastian could exactly tell why, but they didn’t care. Richard was notorious for being absolutely adorable when he was drunk.

They’d been out for a few drinks now and were ready to drag Richard home, he was slurring and could barely sit up straight. Jim had barely drunk at all and Sebastian was a bit tipsy. Richard was pacing around behind Sebastian and Jim who were giggling at him quietly, he looked so intent on getting something, they weren’t sure what. Suddenly Richard leaped forward, nearly toppling into Sebastian and giving his arse a good squeeze before leaping back with a yelp of success.

“I did it!” he shouted with triumph, hiding his arms above his head. “I did it!” He turned to his brother and grinned lopsidedly. “Jim I did it. I touched the butt.”

Both Jim and Sebastian giggled and Sebastian cuffed Richard playfully on the ears.

“You sure did, bunny,” Jim said taking Richard’s hand and dragging him towards the door.

“Let’s go home.”

“Yeah,” Richard agreed, leaving on Jim’s shoulder. “Yeah.”


	19. Chapter 19

“You should grow a mustache,” Sherlock says, startling John from his book.

“Sherlock, you know I can’t do that,” John replies easily, setting his book down and watching his flat mate drip chemicals into tubes and look very frustrated at them.

“Why not? You seem perfectly capable of growing facial hair, you shave every morning and unless that’s for show which seems like quite a lot of trouble for a simple man like you.”

“Sherlock,” John says testily. “I can’t grow a mustache…. Not since…” John dramatically turns his head and stares blankly onto the wall. “Not since… the war.”

Sherlock sighed and muttered, “Bloody hell, not again,” and decided not to try to remove John from his stupor though this was the third time it’s happened that week.

That bloody war.


	20. Chapter 20

 “Jim!” Richard screamed, not even bothering to try to intercept his brother. If he touched him Richard would get hurt. More than he already had been “Jim, I’m sorry, please!”

Jim was holding Richard’s book. The nice one, is fairy tale one that he’d bought himself. He’d saved up for  _months_  for it, keeping his eye on it in the store, making sure no one bought the pretty one with the nice binding, the cover with gold drawings. He barely ever got money and for a long time he’d kept the few coins Jim would give them until he could afford it.

“I don’t even know what I did,” Richard sobbed, reaching a hand out.

Jim growled, his eyes darkening. Her opened the book to one of the pages Richard had marked and tore the page out, crumpling it and throwing at him. Tears started falling then.

“What did I do?” Richard wailed. Jim tore out another page. He’d just been reading, that was it, it was nothing bad. He’d been listening when Jim talked to him. He’d been paying attention to his brother and playing with him when Jim asked. He’d been good.

Jim tore out another page.

Richard screamed.

“You were  _ignoring_  me,” Jim hissed.

“I wasn’t,” Richard cried. “I wasn’t!”

Jim tore another page.

“Jim! I didn’t hear you! Please, Jim, please.”

Jim tore another page.


	21. Chapter 21

“It looks kinda slutty,” Jim says and giggles, reaching out and tracing a hand down the corset wrapped tightly around Richard’s chest.

“I didn’t ask your opinion,” Richard snapped, batting his hand away. He was still getting for his performance tonight. Of course he didn’t  _ask_  to be cast as a girl but it was a small role, he was only on stage three or four times. And he was an actor. If women could play men then he was sure as hell men could play women.


	22. Chapter 22

“I have to do a self portrait for art class,” Richard says, tugging at his shirt. Jim looks up and grins. 

“So? We have mirrors, honey,” he drawled, not moving from his spot on the couch. 

“N-no… You know my thing with mirrors,” Richard protested weakly. He had moved to playing with the threads on his sleeves now. 

“Well?”

“C-can I draw you?”

Jim laughs and stands nonetheless, following Richard into his studio. Richard owed him a drawing, anyway.

 


	23. Chapter 23

“Fine,” Jim screeches. “Leave, I don’t fucking care but I’m not paying for your flat, I’m not letting you come crawling back here!”

Richard is crying, holding out his hands to try to reach Jim but it just seems that Jim would hit him if he actually touched his twin. 

“I said leave!” Jim screamed and Richard took a step wards. He ran out of the flat before he could get hurt just hoping that it wasn’t real this time


	24. Chapter 24

“Please,” Sebastian begs, holding Jim’s face in his hands. “There has to be something.” His voice is quiet and broken and he thinks he might still be drunk but when he’d got a call from the hospital he’d rushed over. Jim is staring blankly ahead. They’d told him he’d been broken at the fall, he probably didn’t recognize  _anyone_.

But Sebastian wasn’t just anyone. Jim was alive, he was sitting right here in front of Sebastian, Sebastian was touching him.

“Sir, visiting hours are over. He needs his rest.”

“Please,” Sebastian said again, tears dropping down his cheeks, blurring Jim’s face. “Please.”

“Sir,” the nurse repeated. She put a hand on his shoulder and dragged him away, too broken to protest.


	25. Chapter 25

There was smoething there. Neither of them wanted to admit it but they hated each other. The other had stolen their twin and wouldn’t give them back and, well, yes of course Severin still got Sebastian when Jim wouldn’t give him the time of day and Jim still got Richard whenever the fuck he wanted because if Jim didn’t get something that he wanted then everyone would hurt.

But there was tension between them. Tension that meant that at any moment one of them would strike and that would be the end for the other, Severin wound back like a cobra, like the snake he was and Jim like a magpie, a bird, ready to swoop and catch his prey.


	26. Chapter 26

It was all Richard wanted, really. To be safe. When he was a kid it meant being locked in a closet, holding his breath when anyone got close. As he got older it was staying near Jim, even when his brother, twin, better, hit him and screamed because he would hit harder and screamed louder if anyone hurt Richard.

And there were days when Jim wasn’t there. There were days when Richard wanted to cry or disappear so he hid in closest because that’s all he really wanted. To be safe.


	27. Chapter 27

It was funny, really, how Richard got his most cherished stuffed toy when he was in his late twenties. It was a tiger, from Sebastian, before he left on a trip that he later told Richard that he wasn’t sure he was coming back from. Richard just called the tiger exactly that. Tiger. For when his breathing tiger was away from him, for when Jim wouldn’t listen to him and he felt alone.

Richard thought that, next to his book of fairy tales, he hadn’t loved anything more.


	28. Chapter 28

Sebastian nearly didn’t pick up his phone that afternoon. He was bored out of his mind, though, and Severin was probably just calling to make sure Richard was okay.

“Bastard,” Sebastian answered.

“Cunt,” Severin spat back. “Bastard, fuck. ‘Bastian, I.. ‘Bastian…”

Sebastian sat up a bit, hearing the frailty in his brother’s voice, fear washing through him.

“Rin, is anything wrong?”

“Nope, just calling to make sure Richard knows that I love him beyond belief and that you’re not too bad and I wish Jim fucking Moriarty would go to hell.”

“Rin, what’s wron-“

“Now, don’t worry your pretty little head over me. I’ll… I’ll b-be fine… Love you, ‘Bastian.”

“Rin!”

Severin had already hung up.


	29. Chapter 29

Severin stared at his hands, clasped in his lap, thinking of ways to get out of here but only to pass the time as Jim paced quietly around him, his eyes dark, brows knit together in frustration.

“You can’t touch him anymore,” Jim growled. Severin bristled but didn’t say anything. “But I’m willing to make a compromise.”

He perked up at that. “Yeah?”

“Let me watch and if I’m not around, film it,” Jim said. “You’re to have no encounters that I don’t know about. Even if it’s a two second clip from your phone of his mouth around your cock, document it.”

Severin grinned and nodded. “‘Kay, boss. Anything you want.”


	30. Chapter 30

It took Richard years to understand why Jim liked fucking him. He was nothing special, he really wasn’t. He was dull compared to Jim’s shine. His hair was always mussy and his eyes looked dumb and he looked even more tired than Jim did most days. Yes, he was a bit fuller, he had a healthier body, but it was nothing to be proud of.

“Is the only reason you like me because… Well, because I’m you?” Richard asked innocently when Jim crawled into bed with him. Jim giggled quietly and smiled at him, nodding before pressing their lips together and telling Richard to sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

He remembers being a little puppy on the street, left naked and cold while it rained, hard drops falling and hurting his shoulders, bruising like a peach. He was shaking and cold and hungry when daddy picked him up and toweled him off and brushed down his hair. Daddy kissed his tears away and named him puppy and warmed his shaking bones. Daddy held him close and told him he’d never have to be in the rain again, the little darling and when daddy fucked him for the first time puppy was all too willing to give himself over to daddy because he owed daddy everything.


End file.
